I have officially begun experiencing that first year teacher sickness everyone keeps telling me about! Last week i started coming down with a cold. I never did have a fever, but I felt AWFUL! I had a sore through, runny nose, congestion, and everything else! I started coming down with it Monday. Tuesday I had to get a sub due to a mentor/protege meeting. I felt awful Tuesday, so bad that I almost left halfway through. But we were going to get out early and it wasn't worth using a sick day for the two hours I had left. To make things worse, my kids were absolutely terrible. Several of them ended up in the office and were to return for recess the next day. I was so disappointed. On Wednesday I have a two hour prep to collaborate with the other teacher in my grade. Again, I didn't want to waste a sick day on an easy day. I barely made it through! So, on Thursday I called in sick. Actually, I told my principal Thursday afternoon I wouldn't be in the next day, and emailed my sub caller that night. When I emailed, I told the sub caller that I had 27 very tough students and needed the best she had. She gave me the best and still, the students could not control themselves. It is embarrassing. I hate that my kids are so terrible to subs. They really aren't that way with me and I feel like it looks like they are. Don't get me wrong, they aren't angels with me, but they are not that bad.

When I returned on Friday, I was just angry. I explained that I was embarrassed and we talked about how they feel when they are embarrassed. They agreed it wasn't a feeling they liked. We talked about following the rules even when others weren't around. But, without fail, when the kids had a sub for p.e. the next week they were out of control.

So this week I am cracking down. I have eaten lunch in my room almost everyday this week because I have to keep too many kids in from recess and therefore have to keep them in my room.I have changed my discipline tracking so that they take home a graph of their daily behavior on Fridays to be signed and returned on Monday. I have started new incentives and punishments. I have changed the seating order. I have begged and pleaded, yelled and screamed, and praised and rewarded. Nothing works all the time, but it all works some of the time. I have learned it is just about choosing the right thing at the right time for the right child.

On a better note, while I was working in my classroom this afternoon, there was a meeting for some committee made up of teachers at my school going on next door. One of the teachers pulls a few children from my room to work with every day. She has taken note of the cube system I use for discipline. Apparently she was explaining it to them and they want me to share it with the staff at a meeting during our professional development day on Monday. I must admit it makes me feel better that people see I am at least trying to control these kids! Another good thing, the husband (also a teacher at our school) of the teacher who had many of the kids from my class last year popped in to tell me that his wife has been teaching for 17 years and last year was her worst year yet. Every year after this will be a cake walk.

This year is tough. I'm stressed to the max and often days feel like a complete failure. BUT at least it can only get better....right?